More New Beginnings

Why not throw in some more changes in our already totally crazy story for the last 6 months. Luckily this change continues to show us God is good, when we slow down and listen he is very clear about the answer, and every day is an absolute blessing we did nothing to deserve but are so incredibly grateful for.

Gabe has continued to go to therapy and slowly work through some of the big issues that still face us in light of the situation. He is working to figure out the answer to the big question we all want to know... why? If you didn't want to lose your family, then why would you do it? It is a question he is still working through and we talk about... daily. Trust me - it is not an easy path and not one I would wish for anyone else, but it has allowed us some clarity on different big triggers for Gabe, things that push him over the edge and different things he was taught, whether intentional or not, as a child that have lead to some very damaging adult thinking patterns. It has allowed us to go through life and really eliminate unhealthy people and situations from our lives. One such unhealthy situation was work. His work place lead to a situation where he wasn't really accountable to anyone on a consistent basis and there was obviously way too much free time and the ability to leave the office at any time. So from pretty close to the beginning Gabe has been diligently looking at other jobs both a healthier environment for himself and one I don't have to think about so much. We have prayed diligently and felt no stress or pressure for him to move on, simply asking God to provide a situation that was better for Gabe and for our family if it was in his will.

Bronto has been an amazing answer to that prayer. Gabe was able to go in and interview. He was able to give his 2 week notice without a massive amount of stress or pressure added. He began his  new career at Bronto this past Monday, Saint Patrick's Day. Our "new" insurance was immediately switched over which means we cut our monthly payment in half AND we have a lot better coverage. Gabe loves the new environment, it is so warm and inviting, very family centered and many of his colleagues have two year olds and babies. He has a new phone and number, a new office space, and we are searching for a new car. Each step of the way God has shown his light and made our direction very clear. Thank you God for Bronto and another step in our new beginning.

This past weekend was also very exciting with the arrival of "Miss Lissa and Miss Deenana" Melissa and Deanna are my sweetest, best friends from high school and I can't believe we have known each other and stayed connected for over half of our lives! .

It is always so nice to actually get together with the two of them as Melissa is in Indy now and Deanna is in Los Vegas. Sometimes we seem so far from those silly girls in high school but sometimes its like we are still there. :)

 Grace is still pretty convinced we are all sisters, and I suppose in many ways she is right.

 Love you both and you have no idea how much it meant for you to come. <3

The other obvious big news is the coming end of this pregnancy and the meeting of our little boy. Today I am officially 37 weeks... full term! And boy can I feel it. I honestly do not remember being this sore and exhausted. I know they say you carry boys differently but wow. Isaac has completely thrown off my sense of balance and comfort. He is so big sticking out of my belly that there is always some hard part or some leg sticking right out. My ribs and spine are so sore at this point. I actually searched craigslist for a cheap lazy boy and am hoping to obtain one to sleep in.... tonight. Oh my goodness nights are rough! I know God is preparing me for the sleep deprivation and exhaustion that is about to hit our house in full steam but currently I dream of sleeping on my stomach, being able to run faster then my toddler, and the ability to bend down and pick something up without grunting.... it will be magical. :)

I went in on Monday with serious contractions and some other strange symptoms I didn't experience with Grace, but I will save you on those details. I have already started dilating - 1.5cm and his head has dropped, which we already knew. My OBGYN thinks I will probably still make it until April before I go into actual labor, but wow my body has already started "practicing" as they call it. Little Isaac Bear we are ready to meet you... but take your time and finish growing, I can deal with a few more weeks of aches and pains. You are totally worth it <3

Magical Moments

As the big due date approaches I am both filled with excitement at looking forward to how much fuller, how much more complete this tiny family will be with Isaac's presence... as well as sadness at the closing of this beautiful chapter of our lives. I have been thinking back a lot to Grace's birth 2.5 years ago. I remember feeling sorrow after she was born because I had to share her. When she was still inside me, she was all mine. I knew her every movement, every kick, every hiccup and I didn't have to share that. Once she was born others held her. She moved in their arms, or at night in her bassinet and I missed it.

In the last 2.5 years I have been so blessed to call this energetic, inquisitive, imaginative, creative, bundle of energy mine... and yet once again the time has come for me to share. Giving her this gift, this tiny boy to call brother, is the best thing I could possibly give her. I know. I have a little brother of my own. She is already so attached to him, she pretends different objects are our family and there is always a 4th little thing which she labels as her baby brother Isaac. She plays doctor on my belly and asks me how he is doing in there and when is it time for him to come out. I know soon she will be sharing her secrets with him and asking him to play or read books to him. I couldn't be more pleased with the bond she already feels.

I am trying to soak in these magical moments of just focusing 100% on my tiny dancer. She is such a precious gift. Here is ballet class. Grace has loved it - each week they have a different focus. So far they have been fairies, mermaids and princesses.

Tot school has once again become a more consistent part of life and as I am planning on homeschooling at least through pre-school and possibly into elementary it has been nice to remember how much I enjoy lesson planning, gathering materials, and preparing for the week ahead on the weekend.

We work on fine motor skills and one-to-one correspondence. Grace now recognizes the actual numbers 1-5 and knows how many they are. She can count up to 10 and then after that she knows several of the teens but not always in the correct order. :)

We get in gross motor play at least once a day - this Mama is usually hoping for a great nap time after a tiring morning. hehe we both need naps now at this stage of pregnancy. Grace also sorts each week. In this picture she is sorting winter clothes and summer clothes but in the past month we have also sorted princesses from their things and colors in a similar fashion. She is getting really good at gluing and loves hanging her work up on her weekly tot school wall so we can show Daddy when he gets home.

Dressing up as different princesses is an all time favorite. If someone has a princess dress she can try on, it doesn't matter the size - she wants to be in it! I believe this is a Bell dress from Beauty and the Beast.

Mimi is teaching Grace to swim. She is getting really confident in the water. Grace has also started going to the daycare at the YMCA on Thursday mornings. It is a great time for her to get socialization skills in as well as learning to listen to another adult - not just Mama and Daddy.

Painting with primary colors. We also learned that red and blue make Grace's favorite color... can you guess what it is? :)

Mama at 34 weeks. I am now 35 weeks 3 days. I had my normal OBGYN appointment today. Isaac has in fact dropped - just like his sister did... super early. I'm experiencing "baby" contractions similar to what I experienced with Grace. My doctor - who I love and has seen me through both pregnancies told me that although she could check to see if I am dilating, she would have to send me to the hospital for an over night if I was more then 2 cm... and with him dropping and my contractions I probably am dilated as well. I chose not to know and put myself on a more restricted schedule for the next two weeks. No more walking or exercising, limited carrying Grace, lots of sitting and resting and keeping this baby in. My next appointment is March 25th. At that point they will check me and if I am 5 or more cm they will send me to the hospital and start my labor. If I am not - then I will start walking again to get this ball rolling! Gabe is convinced Isaac will be born on March 25th. I am thinking April 1st - just because an April Fools baby would be kind of ironic :) I have gained a total of 17 lbs with this pregnancy although I am thinking with limited movement over the next two weeks and my growing appetite I may put some serious weight on here at the end! It is nice to be lighter then I was at this point with Grace - that is for sure!

Experimenting with shaving cream and making ABAB patterns. I draw the dots on there and she glues the princesses. We talk a lot about patterns and someday I won't draw the dots anymore - but for now it makes it a joyful activity for my two year old.

Learning about the letter Q by using water to paint it off the chalkboard. We had fun :)

Some days this is what I find in my child's room instead of her sleeping peacefully at nap time. Yes that is a leotard over her head - she is looking through a leg hole. Around her shoulders is a black tutu. Oh Grace. You make my heart feel so happy.

Grace picked out a birthday present for Isaac to bring to the hospital. It is a blue bear wubbanub. She was so cute picking it out - looking through all the different animals for the perfect Isaac one. There was seriously no encouraging her to pick one over another - but I secretly LOVE the one she picked more then all the rest! Especially for our little bear.

We also took Grace to the park to feed the ducks. The weather here has been crazy. Snowing and ice one moment and then the next we are wearing dresses and no socks. I am seriously ready for spring time. There is something about the sun shinning on your face that just reminds you how good our God is. How even after the cold, bitter winter... spring always comes.

Waiting on Isaac Bear

It was finally time to stop and make sure we captured part of this beautiful chapter in our life. The final days of being a family of three. The last weeks this body will ever house and grow an baby. As I think about the next couple of weeks I am filled with so many different feelings. Excitement at Isaac Bear's arrival. Learning more patience as the exact date is still so uncertain. Gratitude that I have passed the date with Grace where I went into pre-term labor and he is still happily in my belly. Joy while watching my toddler's eyes light up when she talks about her little brother. This life God has blessed us with is one that has taught us many lessons, and we know our family will grow even more with the addition of our little I-Bear. <3